Tag Archives: frustration

Back On The Mat – Feel The Burn

1 Reply

I got back into BJJ training properly on Monday after what feels like a LONG time out of action. I went back initially last week but only worked for the first half of the lesson while we were drilling positions (specifically escape from full rear mount) but didn’t want to risk wrecking my finger again. However this week I sucked it up a bit, bound my finger really well and got on with it. We worked a really good half-guard escape and transition to 100KG or arm bar which requires some really quick movement. Rolling for the second half of the lesson was a different kettle of fish. I was expecting to struggle after not having been for so long, but I really made hard work of it. I was completely gassed after my second rotation and one of the purple belts gave me an utter drubbing. At the time it was hugely demoralising and I found myself thinking ‘I really am terrible at this, why do I bother’, but with a bit of time I can look back on it and see a problem which is to do with me, not my training.

I am, and always have been, a bit of a perfectionist in many areas. I expect (rightly or wrongly) to be great at new things I try very quickly, and it’s my downfall. I’m guessing it comes because I am reasonably bright, and I do tend to pick up the basics and concepts of things quite quickly. Be it a sport, a language, a hobby; whatever. The problem is that it doesn’t last, and I have a really hard time moving from the ‘picked it up quickly’ phase through the ‘actually it’s harder than it seems’ one, and on to the ‘actually I can do it’ one. It’s always been the same and it probably always will be. Tang Soo Do, Japanese, learning to drive – all the same. I know that I’ve got to get on with it and work through the hard part, but at the time when you’re tired, frustrated and annoyed at yourself it requires a bit of fortitude to do it.

On to less reflective stuff then, time for some stupidity. I train on textured foam rubber matting five days a week and have done for quite a while now. In all this time I’ve only given myself a small amount of mat burn maybe once or twice, usually doing things like ‘zombie crawls’ during warmups. At BJJ on Monday I managed to put two burns on the top of my foot, one of which is about the size of a plum, and it REALLY hurts. I should end the story there and let you guess about what incredible guard pass I was going for, but the truth is much less impressive. With my instructor being Brazilian he’s fond of football, and so we had a game of five-a-side to warm up. Muggins here had a rush of blood to the head when he saw an opportunity to slide tackle and make a dynamic save, and in the process took the skin off the top of his foot. It hurts like crazy, and my decision to wear nice tight patent leather shoes to work seems less and less clever with every step I take. Doh!

On Tuesday night we had the first time an outside group has used the TSD academy building, and a few of us went along to show some support and have our first try at Korean Yoga! It was really good, not what I was expecting at all, and I think I’ll be back. I was surprised just how hard I had to work, and how much stress my muscles were put under in certain postures. The mixture of high effort and utter relaxation is a great one, so I was surprised when the session ended and I felt pretty much the same as normal. That feeling didn’t last for long though, within five minutes I had to sit down because I felt like I was going to fall asleep, and that night I slept like the proverbial log. I know that a lot of the relaxation and concentration works with Alpha waves in the brain, and I find it really fascinating. It’ll be really interesting to see how the Qi Gong aspects crossover with TSD.

I’ve got a busy few weeks ahead now, I think they’re going to fly by. Mrs AdamR has her 30th birthday, I’m going to see Dragonforce, I’m off to Germany for a week and then I have.. well, I’m not going to think about that now, I’m already starting to get nervous O_o.

Waiting To Heal Is Rubbish – Official!

Leave a reply

I just made a very long-winded, opinionated, rambling post in reply to one on my club’s forum. It was nothing exceptional, just a discussion on the importance of forms in continuation of traditional styles, but writing it made me realise just how much I’m missing training already. It’s a week today since I was able to train, and while in some ways that week has flown by, it feels like an absolute age since I pulled my dobok on and tied my belt. I’ve had all sorts of thoughts over the last two days as my knee has been slowly healing – “If I went and was really careful…”, “I could just use narrow stances” – all things which I know are just asking for trouble.

I haven’t slept properly for a week now, at first it was just from the pain of moving in my sleep but lately (thanks to ibuprofen and thai oil) it’s not been hurting as much in bed, so I can only assume my body is crying out to actually do something. I made the mistake of helping to carry a heavy box at work yesterday, which left me very sore and upset, thinking that I’d put the best part of a week’s healing back, but by the evening it was feeling much better again. Not great, just better than it has been. I was able to distract myself for the evening luckily, catching up with some friends from my now-defunct rock/metal night at the cinema. Ok, so I watched the new Indiana Jones film for the second time in two weeks, but I like it! The good company was very welcome, and what do you know – my ex-paramedic friend was spot on with her diagnosis of the cause of my limping.

On Saturday morning I’m going to take my niece and nephew swimming. This has multiple benefits for me, because not only can I get some swimming in (even if it’s just with my arms if it hurts too much), but being there with kids means I can act like an 8 year-old myself, splashing and flapping around at the shallow end. I don’t need an excuse to do that I suppose, but it looks decidedly less ‘dodgy’ to have the excuse of taking the kids there. Then later in the day, in my continued efforts to make the most of being outside in the sunshine this year, I’ll be lighting the barbecue yet again. In previous years it’d only get lit perhaps 3 or 4 times over the summer, this year however is a different story, it’s already been used 4 or 5 times and it’s only just June.

I’ve got a package to pick up this afternoon, I’m not sure what it is yet but I have a sneaking suspicion… Normally if I miss a delivery I get up ten minutes earlier the next day, head to the sorting office/collection point behind the Post Office before 8, pick it up and get to work on time. When I got there this morning though I was told that I can’t pick this one up from there, and that I need to go to the actual Post Office itself, which doesn’t open until 9 – how useful. It means I have to take an extra hour off work this afternoon to head in and pick it up. It’s a good job I’ve been racking the flexi time this week. And to just top my week off perfectly I had a letter the other morning telling me that my pension company had (in their infinite wisdom) decided to stop my pension. I was quite surprised to say the least, and ended up feeling very stressed about it, additional money worries are the last thing I need right now. I’ve since managed to get it sorted out, but honestly, some kind of break would be really good about now.

Deep breath…. it’s nearly the weekend.

Legless

1 Reply

Friday was great, really great. A hot day in work got followed up by a very hard hour in training, as one of our fold who left to join the forces came back for the weekend, so he was given a good one to remind just how hard we like to work. My legs were in agony after the running the night before, and then that workout, so I was looking forward to cutting loose a little in Plymouth.

The club was pretty busy by about midnight, and everyone had a great time. 2am rolled around and I was starting to feel the need for bed, all that dancing on top of the hard training had finally caught up with me. We got some food then started heading back. After about 20 miles I noticed we had been followed by a Police Land Rover for about 5 miles, and then they decided to pull me over…. Apparently I was swerving(!), when in fact if anything I was just trying to see, as their stupidly big car was blinding me in all mirrors as they were driving right up my backside! He asked me if I’d been drinking (not a drop), and just couldn’t seem to grasp the fact that we’d travelled up for a night out, asking me why my car was registered in Cornwall if I live in Plymouth…. Anyway, we rolled back into Cornwall and I got back at about 3.45am, but as I got out of the car I was in for a bit of a surprise. Somehow, in the last 60 miles of driving, my knee had decided that it wasn’t fine, and that I wasn’t going to be allowed to walk properly. I got out of the car and nearly fell over, and walking down my (steep) lane took ages and was so painful it brought tears to my eyes. I put it down to tiredness until the next morning when I got up and found I still couldn’t walk properly. Not exactly the best start to my nice relaxing Saturday.

As the weekend’s gone on, it’s gotten no better at all. The pain is on the outside of my left knee, and it really hurts if I’m doing anything other than walking on the flat. Stairs and hills are my worst enemy right now. It means I’ve missed the seminar we had booked for today, and that I’m going to miss training tonight too. I’m still going to go along, maybe I can hold some pads or something useful. I’m pretty worried about it though, it doesn’t feel like a simple muscle pull, and I really doubt right now that I’ll be training again this coming week. It’s one of those few things which is actually going to stop me, the idea of twisting into a good side kick and permanently mangling my leg is one I’m not really going to entertain. If it’s no better by midweek I’ll be popping up the road to the hospital where the self-referall physio is. I’m feeling quite miserable now.

So all in all, excluding the first two hours, this weekend has been pretty terrible. I’ve spent the afternoon on the sofa with a bag of frozen cauliflower tied to my leg, and before I know it it’s back to work again. Surely next week can get better, please? I don’t know whether to feel sad or really f’ing angry, I’m starting to lean towards the latter.

Here’s a song which caused me to put my drink down, halt all conversation and leap to the dancefloor on Friday night.

Static-X – Push It.
[youtube SCsdGZIgoH0]