Crocodile Dundee quotes aside, I really need to get some good knives. I got a block of what looked like good kitchen knives to go in the New Kitchen when we had the house extended and smartened up last year, but as I’ve started using them more and more I’ve realised how rubbish they’ve become. Pieces of the handles have cracked off and the blade on the chef’s knife is blunter than my training dagger. Every time I come to chop some onions, garlic, whatever, I find myself cursing the blades for being awful. There’s no way a blade should occasionally slip off of the onion because it’s not cutting perfectly straight, and if I’m going to lose a finger, it’s going to be to a sharp knife!
So I find myself in the predicament of trying to choose knives. The thing is, knives aren’t cheap.
I have real problems shopping for utilitarian things, things that I don’t necessarily want for my own pleasure, but that I know I need. I don’t want to get cheap rubbish that I know I’ll need to replace in no time at all, but at the same time I resent spending a fortune on things. I think it’s hard-wired into my brain, and it’s the same reason why I’m useless to take shopping for wine. When I go shopping for wine, this is the process that my brain uses to choose a bottle.
- Pick a bottle.
- Look at label. If label isn’t interesting enough, go to step 1. (the same is also true if the label or name is too trendy, I don’t want a bottle of wine from Latvia named ‘Aardvark’s Ballsack – 2010 Vintage’ with a photo of a warehouse on it)
- Look at price. This is where it gets tricky.
- If price < £4.00 it’s too cheap. Reject. Go to step 1.
- If price > £8.00 it’s too expensive. Reject. Go to step 1.
- Dither in the aisle for about five minutes.
- Become bored and just accept the fact it’s going to have to do.
- Buy wine.
Almost unfailingly I look for the yellow price labels in Tesco that indicate a special offer (damn you Tesco for getting into my brain!), this way I can sometimes get a £10(!) bottle of wine for a fiver on a good day! I know full well that cheap, CHEAP wine is going to be rubbish, but sadly when it comes to buying something more expensive I don’t go by the quality of the wine or how nice it might be to drink. Oh nosireebob, I figure that if I spent that £10 on beer, I could get more merry than I could on a bottle of wine AND it would last me longer. I know, I know, with class like that, I’m quite the catch.
But I digress, I was prattling on about knives wasn’t I? I’ve already started doing the equivalent of the ‘yellow label’ thing with them, trying to find what looks like a good set on some kind of half-price special offer. I’m usually far more predictable when buying anything that costs over £50, and I’ll spend far too long researching them until I consider myself an armchair expert. That way I can make a tit of myself by going into a shop and talking as if I know what I’m talking about while the assistant blatantly knows that I have no idea. I just find it hard to motivate myself to research some that neither plugs in to the wall nor lights up in some way. Laser knives?
Anyway, I’ll be sure to update if and when I ever buy something to cut food up with (I’ve said ‘knife’ far too many times in this post – damnit! I just did it again!). I know you’ll be on the edge of your seats until then.
I think your predicament is not actually the knives themselves but rather keeping a keen edge on them. Most stainless steel knives no matter how cheap can be ‘brought up’ very nicely indeed with a little knowhow and elbow grease. Carbon steel blades hold a better edge but rust so you will need to keep them oiled (90% of kitchen knives are stainless for that reason).
Sharpening a knife is a very fine art, ask the Japanese smiths : ). I use Japanese water-stones and a ‘nagura’ for shapening my blades at home. Thats my camping knives (shaving sharp, seriously) and my kitchen knives (not quite so, amanda would kill herself with them).
If you would like a free lesson in using waterstones let me know. Its a fine art and very satisfying
If you want a good knife, you need look no further than Henckels Knives. These knives, although somewhat expensive, will last for years. They have been manfacturing these knives for nearly 300 years so they have got it down to a fine art. Highly recommended.